Confessions of a consumer!
I am a women. I would say - quite typical. And I always love to buy stuff. Clothes, kitchenware, jewelry, shoes, lingerie... you name it. I bought myself something new when I felt happy as a gift, when I was sad as a cheering up, when I wanted to buy something concrete, but I didn't find it, when there was a sale or a good deal. When I was bored shopping was my cardio! You get the point!
I was lucky that somehow I could afford it and working in a clothing store was an additional bonus.
I really could relate to Sophie Kinsella, Confessions of a Shopaholic: “That moment. That instant when your fingers curl round the handles of a shiny, uncreased bag—and all the gorgeous new things inside it become yours. What’s it like? It’s like going hungry for days, then cramming your mouth full of warm buttered toast. It’s like waking up and realizing it’s the weekend. It’s like the better moments of sex. Everything else is blocked out of your mind. It’s pure, selfish pleasure.” But the sad part of it - the moment was short!
So after buying something new I felt fulfilled and satisfied only for a brief moment, and then there was only the emptiness. It is interesting how closet full of clothes, apartment full of things but futility was the most common feeling.
Only when I had to pack my things to move out of my place I had to face my problem - consumerism hand in hand with shopaholism.
And you don't have to be as excessive as I am. Maybe you really buy only what you need. But if you never throw anything away, never declutter in the end there are still things that you don't use anymore. There is still negative energy in unused, unwanted things, and it surrounds you.
It is so hard to get rid of things, clear out space, declutter.
Turns out that my belongings do not make me happy! Although most of them are useful, necessary and some of them does make me feel better. But things like adventures, traveling, hugging my loved ones, reading a good book, new experiences and learning are the things that bring me joy in a long term.
But even with this realization, it is so hard for me to get rid of things. Even now when I will travel for a longer time and my backpack isn't limitless. I know I can't take a lot with me, and the things that I will keep in storage probably I will not need after my return. I feel deeply attached to my things. Even with the ones I do not use that often.
This is a century of consumerism. We just buy and buy and buy! We consume more than we need. We keep things we never use. We hide them behind closed doors and forget that we have them. We rent storages just to keep stuff. We produce junk and we are not appreciative. It is easier even "throw away" people, than stuff. Why?
But now when I have to pack and move, there is no more excuses. I have to reduce the number of my things and really keep only the most important, useful and necessary belongings. And then choose just a few to take with me on my travels.
Before I didn't have a reason to clear out the clutter, but now I understand if I would do it regularly it never would get this far. It is hard to throw away something especially when it is barely used. But it would be wrong to keep stuff that isn't useful for me. I never thought that mentally it will be so hard.
How often we just put off decluttering. Not even for actual belongings, but even our phone or computer gets full of unnecessary files. Our thoughts get messy and sometimes toxic. It is so good to clear your mind, your electronics, your unfinished jobs, your belongings.
I really start to believe that living with all these unnecessities there is no space for something new to come in our lives. There is no room for progress, for projects, for opportunities.
Sometimes emptiness around you gives clearer mind and fulfillness.